The last two months have felt like trying to ride a bike on a treadmill – fun, but you just know it’s going to end badly. Lots of stuff on my plate as I transition slowly from and to: complicated (in good ways) by beginning school again, work, and the delightful visit of my favorite Korean speaking sister (which included bike rides through the woods, visits to the apple orchard, road trips to Indiana, Peruvian food in Chicago, and lots of laughter and good conversation.) But in light of all that (plus a few other things here and there), I haven’t made time to write. But here’s the deal… I want to. I need to practice gratitude – search for beauty in my daily life – and live intentionally – and writing here helps me do that. So, in light of all that, here’s a few things I have been delighting in about this transition:
– fascinating classes, exploring family dynamics, interpersonal relationships, and delving into theories of the mind… challenging both my mind, heart, and spirit. I’m loving it.
– four fun guys to share a home with – an oasis (and occasional place of celebration) in the middle of the city and the busyness.
– runs down by the lake, enjoying the play of colors on the water, the way the city looks like a different place depending on whether it’s a gray rainy morning, a blustery fall afternoon, a crystalline sunset, or the contrast of city lights shining in the darkness – the interplay of light and shadow…
– a cohort of solid, passionate, compassionate students who are learning with me.
– the gift of being with people who know you and know you well, even if it’s unexpected and short. Spent a weekend w/ Liz and Car – we’ve been present in each other’s lives for over 20 years, and sharing a plate of ceviche and lomo saltado while savoring a pisco sour just made it that much sweeter.
– glimmers of community, belonging, rootedness, worship, and a place of service that I’m VERY excited about.
– reminders of beauty, hope, adventure, laughter, community, creativity, and play, such as this video by Ben Howard:
– near daily reminders and challenges (both in class and out of class) to take risks, to engage, to move forward, to enter into relationship and life with others, and not simply be content with safety and comfort…
Today in class, we talked about C.S. Lewis (in The Four Loves), who says:
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung, and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact, you must give your heart to no one, not even to an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements; lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket – safe, dark, motionless, airless — it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable.”
Sobering words, as I ask myself, what do I really want? Comfort? Safety? Normalcy? Complacency?
Or do I want risk? Adventure? Movement? Growth? Discomfort? Failure? A life lived for others? Giant slip-and-slides down mountains?
Yes.
I’m thankful for the big “Yes” that this transition has been so far. And I’m excited and eager to see what unfolds as I continue to respond “Yes…”